Wednesday, November 13, 2013
It was dreaded .Quite Awful for three or so months heading up to the big 4-0.
Friends who had not turned it yet were saddened.
Those who had were happy. It's a great club, they shouted; come join!
I thought the latter of the friends were nuts. I grew angry with them and sullen with myself. FORTY? That meant I was in college half of my life ago.
However, as I approached the big day with hesitation, I began to realize a few things about life. I thought I'd talk about motherhood at forty, growing older, being a woman, and finding happiness.
1. When you are young, you believe you have to do it all. Everything. Now. When you turn forty you realize some things are important, other things might be nice, but some things you really don't need to do at all. And that's fine.
2. At forty you see that probably, most likely, half of your life is over - but you still have another half to live. And you realize the importance of needing to live it now.
3. I don't care. It's a new attitude. It came upon me quickly. Suddenly the things that seemed oh so important really aren't that important. The things that are, like my children and husband, my family and friends, myself, are the things I will focus my attention on now. Those other things, those little things, that ate up a lot of time with worry, will be gone.
4. I don't have to climb mountains. It would be nice, trust me, and I still hope I have some umph left in me to do so, but it is not the most important thing. I can see through my forty year old eyes that the important things are the small things: the touch of my daughter's hand, cozying up next to my 3 children before bedtime, Ben & Jerry New York Fudge by the tub-loads (who cares what they do to the waist, I'm forty!)
5. Life is short. Enjoy it. I don't feel I have to move mountains, now, but I do feel I have to take an opportunity each day to live life to its fullest. It passes so quickly. While my body is able and my mind is willing I want to explore, kiss my kids, dance with my husband, spend time with my mother & sisters, have belly laugh with my friends.
6. It's just a number. Really. I dreaded it, but now that it is here it is just another number, like 35, or 39. And honestly I wouldn't want to travel backwards. I have everything I want right now.
7. Which leads me to this - I'm home. Wherever I may be, I feel at home. I've worked hard and now it's time to enjoy the fruits of that. I'm comfortable with myself, I have a supportive family, and I love where I am now. I have a husband that loves me more than i can ever imagine & children who i can climb any mountian for....so being 40 aint so bad after all....