Sunday, January 03, 2010
To say how time flies again is such a cliche, I know but - HOW TIME FLIES. its already the 3rd day of the new year 2010. Soooo much has happened in the span of 2 months. Yes. I am still working full-time, yes, somewhere inside me i still sorely miss the SAHM leisure time in the lazy afternoon filled with K-drama & dreamy Hallyus. But the extra moolah helps. & out there doing what I know I can do best is quite worthwhile. Of course there are still ups & downs, dealing with internal & external clients - hey, nothing is THAT smooth sailing I know. But within these months, lucky I should say or foreseen circumstances presented themselves in such a way that I got promoted to that of a Senior PM, which means extra-moolah which also means extra responsibility. This coming January alone, I know there will be challenges ahead with a few concurrent big projects running. But I know always with the support of my other half, it would be ok in the end, as always.
Amirul will be in P4 while Amira will be in K2. They have become more independent sooner than I thought they would be. I still want them to be that clingy little kids who yearns for my company all the time once in a while. But I'm glad that they've grown in such a way. Which means I could work in peace, which means I could work that extra hard to give them that little bit extra perk that all of us would enjoy.
2009 is not so much of a roller caster ride for me. Its lifestyle changing with the demise of my grandfather & my MIL's medical condition. But the dust is settling. Alhamdulillah...
I am still very much obsessed with Twilight - STILL. But the new year at the stroke of midnight, I found myself a new obsession - now I cant wait for 'Clash of the Titans' & i have to say this - 'AVATAR' is the best movie in 2009 ever. we watched it in 3D and awesomeness is still an understatement. Initially when the movie started i was already stumped by the amazing graphics & effects but as the story progresses, i felt deeply for the Na'vi, with Neytiri AND with Jake Sully. I love him more in character as a Na'vi than he was as an ex-Marine. It is such a simple story but it does tug my heartstrings in ways I cannot fathom.
Its been a while too since I committed myself fully to a series of K-Drama & I miss that part of my life. I cant seem to find the time nowadays - I hope a nice time adjustment in this new year could quench my thirst for my K-drama addiction.
So tomorrow I'll retuen back to work after our company's annual week break. Back to routine, back to dealing with clients, just back to life, Of course amidst all that, there are always things to look forward to - like lunch dates with my chummies, dinner dates with my sweet saints & get togethers with the kakis just to chill & lepak. Its quite bliss really - & here's to a great year a ahead - Insyaallah...
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
a new phase, a new beginning...a new phase for me, a new phase for the Bakar Lamin family...My beloved grandfather passed away peacefully on 2nd Syawal this year, 21st September. Even though it was a long-time coming, it was still a shock nevertherless, & he is still sorely missed by us all. It was heartbreaking to see my grandmother, his wife of 72 years mourning for him. The love & life they shared - I would feel so lucky if I get to experience even half of the great love they share.A truly inspiring love story I must say. It started me thinking how I would deal if my other half were to leave first...I shudder at the mere thought of it...
So that makes our Hari Raya celebrations shorter than we already imagine it would be. We knew somehow the celebration will not be as festive as the past years, what with the mother-in-law's condition & all. With my grandpa's passing, it makes the Hari Raya period shorter & more modest than ever, only visiting those important & closest to us. But I am more than glad to do the modest do, saving the us the leg cramps & spare my lithesome tiresome body :)
As of today, its been a little over a month since I started my full-time vocation as a PM. & I am starting to like it day by day- although I still do not enjoy dealing with production team with attitude problem, its is something I look forward to work everyday, looking forward to see the progress of my pet projects.But I am enjoying the company of my fellow colleagues some as young as 21 & 22 - oh gawd, how old I must feel now :0
I guess its good that I am liking my job, which makes it hard to miss the comfortable lifestyle that I have led for the past 5 yrs. At least I do not dread at the mere thought of going to work or keep flipping my watch everyhour to see when the day will end. At least I've gotten the phase of missing my kids terribly & missing the precious time that we spend during the quiet afternoons. It also helps that I get to date my chummums during lunch once in a while to 'cure' the 'missingness'...
I guess its all good for now. Makes me feel that I can still contribute. Moreover my former bosses have told the office people about my 'vast' working experience & somehow, I already got that respect by mere association which makes the working experience more than bearable to get by day by day...
The only thing I sorely miss is my K-Drama & empty malls in quiet afternoons, which the husband assure I can get back to 5 years later :) so definitely something to look forward to...
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
it feels like yonks ago since I wrote anything in this dusty blog of mine - wait, it IS yonks ago!
What a difference 2 mths have made. Now we are almost into the 2nd week of Ramadhan. Things have been going smoothly, Amirul have been diligently performing his full-day fasting ibadah & Mira is still at her trial stage where she fast from morning til noon, get a dose of her milk, then resume her fasting from noon til Maghrib. ALhamdulillah both of them has done well without much complaints.
The first week of Ramadhan was certainly a challenge or -dugaan, as we coined it. The MIL was hospitalised, & dear Viper was involved in a minor 8-car pile-up accident & the other half had an almost nervous breakdown, having been hit with one problem after another. Thankfully all is almost stable now. We decided to take up a drink stall at the DS mosque, a truly impromptu task that we decided. Even if profits will not be made, we assure ourselves that we could always treat it as a our donation contribution.
It's been 2 days since I took that major step in taking up a full-time job back again after a 5-yr hiatus. It was tough, I will not lie, tougher than I expected. My concern was mainly the separation anxiety from my kids that I will encounter having been with them day-in & day out for a good 5 yrs. Especially Amira. My days have been spent with her leaving only a mere few hours for part-time work before. Truthfully it was heartwrenching but it is a decision that we both know will benefit us in the future. Yes, I will miss my semi tai-tai lifestyle with my school chum-mums at the gym & browsing malls in the early morning but I am certainly looking forward to more moolah in the horizon. My main & only worry now is that my working hours would prevent good spending time with the kids. But then there's always the weekends & holidays to look forward to.
Even though the I am in a way going back to my roots, I feel somewhat different & out of place in this new place of work - maybe its still new, maybe its a different job description altogether, maybe, I hope it'll change soon, I hope I get busy soon so I wont waste my time pondering over what could or should have been. Its only been 2 days...
I have to say that even though the line of work is the same the atmosphere is certainly different then how it was 10 yrs ago when I was part of this working family. Maybe its the age, maybe the 10 yrs have changed my outlook of life & career, definitely my focus would differ than what it was before. I recalled looking forward to going to work to meet my fun colleagues back then but now, even though the people are nice & everything, I cant help but keep looking at my watch every hour in anticipation for the time when I can finally leave. Its been just 2 days, it could be different a week from now, I dont know, but I hope I feel differently towards this 'work' thing. My focus would be the same of course but why I do it would present a different story altogether. I guess its just time, and I have to adapt to that - for now at least...
Saturday, July 18, 2009
After almost 5 years of doing things that I like & enjoying myself while at it, they say good things do not really quite last. And now, I think & positively sure that I am about ready to move on to the next chapter in my life. Of course all these is hypothetical, how true it will become remains to be seen until a few weeks time. Life have a way of smacking us with surprises when u least expected it. Like I told the other half, HE would not have tested us if HE knew we were not strong enough to go through it. This year have been truly a test for us, to say the least, I am proud to say that each one he have tackled with, although not always easy. in a way how things should fall into place. There were a lot of plans that did not fall through. It could be the timing, it could be the opportunity or it was just not meant to be.
The Wanjor brood welcome a new addition, a 2nd girl for Shah & Habib. And in keeping with the HM initials of the firstborn, the 2nd cutie was named Hani Maisarah, born 13 July at Eastshore Hospital. The mom-in-law is doing remarkably well under treatment. Still full of zest, still full of life, although occasionally emotions took the better of her & she would just express her frustrations in tears. But all is well. I believe it will be.
In between tribulations, I will always find time to find myself, hanging out with old & new friends alike, just to chill & relax & let my hair down if only for awhile. It really does wonders, that few hours you spend with great company.In & about town, dinner, luncheons, long-snack time, with or without kids, I am really cherishing every moment of it.
I do not exactly know what state of mind I am in now. I do feel a little worried after having not feeling a sense of uncertainty for a long time. But more so than ever, I like to look forward how we once again ride out the waves & enjoy the surf-ride while we are at it, Insyaallah...
Monday, June 29, 2009
I am still reeling from the fact that 2 legendary icons that I grew up with just passed away.
I recalled vaguely given my first taste of Michael Jackson's golden feet choreography from the living room of my then-grandmother's house over at Marine Parade with my siblings, uncles & aunties. Thriller was the 'in' music video & Michael was THE man to be. I was not really a huge ardent fan of his but giving credit when credit is due, he IS a legend. and his lost is felt. greatly I might add. 2 days after his passing, Malaysia's TV8 was showing his Dangerous concert & Bucharest - ignoring my cynical fascination with his plastic surgery obsession & what he does behind closed doors or even the lifestyle he had chosen to thread, he is a force to be reckoned with. A born entertainer.He will be missed.
Farah Fawcett on the other hand, was somewhat an idol that I grew up trying to emulate-other than Wonder Woman that is. That hair, the then-in-fashion, that blonde locks, she was gorgeous back in her hey days. A mark & testimony that she could proudly leave behind.
Now that the holidays are officially over, I hope I can embark on something new. With the lessons yet to begin & my freelance design moving on a really slow pace, I might want to use this lull period to learn new things. Of course it would need a whole lot of discipline given my 'busy' days with FB & the games that comes along with it :p But I am determined. I would see if in 2 weeks time, anything will come out of my 'home-based learning. or if I have anything to show for that matter. 2 weeks come soon please...
Monday, June 15, 2009
Since my last post, its unbelievable how my loyalty could be thwarted just by a good read. I am now officially a TwilightMOM, Yes. There is such a term coined by woman who are gaga by the Stephanie Myers Saga Trilogy. It was not a love at first read for me, nor is it a love at first sight when my eyes first caught the movie which was in my possession since December. I have to constantly convince myself to at least give a fair chance & watch the movie in its entirety before going ahead with my cynism. Hard to believe, I actually resisted watching the movie for the longest time, scared of falling into a baseless fan-trap, which I know myself well, would take some time before I could get out of again. So by suggestions of my fellow Chum-mums who are ardent fans by now, they suggested reading the book first. After the 1st chapter, I was hooked. I read the book, all 400 odd pages of it in 2 days. Then I watched the movie, the ORIGINAL one mind you, the one with extra scenes & additional videos. Then I watched it AGAIN. Now I think Robert Pattinson is a fine young british lad after Hugh Grant, now that Hugh Grant is almost never in the spotlight nowadays...in between time where I wont be able to watch the movie, I busied myself with the trilogy - the last 3. I am left with a few more pages of Breaking Dawn & is reading it word for word (so unlike me) for fear that this thrill could end soon. Always a positive note of course is the mere idea of New moon premiering in the best month of the year, November, of course. ALthough I would have no idea how much screen time can Rob flood the screens considering in most parts of the novel,he's just a figment of Bella's imagination & conscience. I'm just glad that there are good things to look forward too.
Having this new interest only spell a lull moment for my K-Drama addiction. The last one I saw was 'The Story of a Man' which I have yet to continue watching after Episode 8 & also Which Star are you From whereby the DVD is resting peacefully on my shelves waiting to be devoured.
I am actually at Coffee Bean in Forum as I am typing this entry while waiting for Amirul to finish his Creative Writing class at Julia Gabriel. His exams results, although very good by normal standards fell behind what we had expected of him. Thus comes the need to take this extra step of seeking external help to get his creative juices running. Apparently writing is one of his weaknesses in school even though I find it rather bizarre since he loves reading so much. I guess its just one of those things that we have to accept - we CANT have & do it all. So for 1 whole week, my mornings would be filled with breakfast coffee & surfing time & hopefully a little time left to drop by the malls for a GSS whiff - which I have yet to sink into considering how busy I was for the past weeks. I was fortunate enough to get a ME time now, as we left before Amira woke up from her slumbers. I suppose after today, that little me will be my constant companion for the rest of the week. Amira is doing very well in school. During the last meet-the-teacher session at her school, her teacher has nothing but praises for her. Yes, I am one proud mama.
The next few weeks I expect to be a tough one for the husband & I hope I could be a strong pillar for him.its hard to believe this June holidays doesnt even feel like a vacation, what with the almost daily visits to the in-laws, squeezing the little time to entertain the kids with outing & of course the great pleasure of reading the Twilight Saga in its entirety. Now I am so tempted, as suggested by a cousin of mine to just start reading the whole saga again, well at least until I find another 'addictive pastime' :0
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
My life of late have revolved around sorority life, the glamourous fashion world (the flossy,flossy!), the mafia world, & rearing of pets. On a normal day, I would have include this 'duties' of overseeing my many businesses & activities to see that my employees are fed well, that my companies are paid regularly & that I am constantly moving up the social ladder, throwing my glam weight & influence around. Alas this rarity I allow myself only to be indulged in the virtual world. All thanks to FB, apart from daily games to challenge your fellow friends, I;m also addicted to games that challenge myself - as in how well can I run a business or an agency for that matter. If only can do the same in the real world...
On the real world, we are almost halfway thru the year. Amirul just got his mid-year results & even though he did not fare as well as we had expected(the same old carelessness at play here), we are still satisfied all the same, having looked at the effort he put in & more so seeing his disappointed face after knowing that he haven't done as god as he knew he could.As I speak, he would presenting a multimedia show that I helped him researched & put together in front of his cohort. How much he's grown. I can imagine him standing up with flash cards in hand, trying his might not to show how nervous he is while looking confident presenting about Killer Whales. Amira is reading fluently now. Faster than Amirul was back them if I were to make a comparison.More inquisitive, but very alert & bright when her mood calls for it. Yes, it doesnt matter how much she knows or how mush she can regurgitate its what her mood is at the moment that matters most.
My aerobics session of a month has just ended, & we decide to commence only after school reopens since the other 3 buddies will only be around after the school holidays. In the meantime I hope I can maintain the fitness. (Ihope!) I just completed the whole series 30 episodes of 'On Air' in a mere 4 days. A very captivating show,ignoring the over-acting at times by the leads, the script is good & the story content is mesmerising enough for me to be addicted for 4 days straight.
The coming month will be a testing time as we rally around close family members hoping for their speedy recovery.Once in a while its nice to have some form of distraction to clear my mind & what I term myself as my therapy :)