Wednesday, September 02, 2009
it feels like yonks ago since I wrote anything in this dusty blog of mine - wait, it IS yonks ago!What a difference 2 mths have made. Now we are almost into the 2nd week of Ramadhan. Things have been going smoothly, Amirul have been diligently performing his full-day fasting ibadah & Mira is still at her trial stage where she fast from morning til noon, get a dose of her milk, then resume her fasting from noon til Maghrib. ALhamdulillah both of them has done well without much complaints.
The first week of Ramadhan was certainly a challenge or -dugaan, as we coined it. The MIL was hospitalised, & dear Viper was involved in a minor 8-car pile-up accident & the other half had an almost nervous breakdown, having been hit with one problem after another. Thankfully all is almost stable now. We decided to take up a drink stall at the DS mosque, a truly impromptu task that we decided. Even if profits will not be made, we assure ourselves that we could always treat it as a our donation contribution.
It's been 2 days since I took that major step in taking up a full-time job back again after a 5-yr hiatus. It was tough, I will not lie, tougher than I expected. My concern was mainly the separation anxiety from my kids that I will encounter having been with them day-in & day out for a good 5 yrs. Especially Amira. My days have been spent with her leaving only a mere few hours for part-time work before. Truthfully it was heartwrenching but it is a decision that we both know will benefit us in the future. Yes, I will miss my semi tai-tai lifestyle with my school chum-mums at the gym & browsing malls in the early morning but I am certainly looking forward to more moolah in the horizon. My main & only worry now is that my working hours would prevent good spending time with the kids. But then there's always the weekends & holidays to look forward to.
Even though the I am in a way going back to my roots, I feel somewhat different & out of place in this new place of work - maybe its still new, maybe its a different job description altogether, maybe, I hope it'll change soon, I hope I get busy soon so I wont waste my time pondering over what could or should have been. Its only been 2 days...
I have to say that even though the line of work is the same the atmosphere is certainly different then how it was 10 yrs ago when I was part of this working family. Maybe its the age, maybe the 10 yrs have changed my outlook of life & career, definitely my focus would differ than what it was before. I recalled looking forward to going to work to meet my fun colleagues back then but now, even though the people are nice & everything, I cant help but keep looking at my watch every hour in anticipation for the time when I can finally leave. Its been just 2 days, it could be different a week from now, I dont know, but I hope I feel differently towards this 'work' thing. My focus would be the same of course but why I do it would present a different story altogether. I guess its just time, and I have to adapt to that - for now at least...